Goodbye 2020 – letting go of 2020

Goodbye 2020

2020 was a year unlike any other. Full stop.

I am just so relieved I survived it.

There are many, many more people in the world who had a much tougher year. After all, I didn’t have to deal with sick family members or home schooling children or working from home or all the above at once. I also didn’t lose any loved ones, job or business. I know I am one of the lucky ones. Therefore I feel guilty that I feel what I feel, as if I haven’t the right to feel them.

Reflecting on the year brought up much of the distress and anxiety of dealing with Coronavirus in my workplace, managing anxious and fearful staff, dealing with the public, panic buying, stock shortages, curfews, lockdowns and so on. (I wrote 2 posts about this at the time – How has the Covid-19 virus affected my retirement plan?  and Emerging from the storm of Covid-19)

There was so much mixed emotion – on the one hand I was happy I had a job throughout 2020 but on the other, that job had a real chance of coming into contact with the virus. And I was terrified of passing that inadvertently to my elderly parents.

I went to work every day so did not experience the isolation that others lived with during lockdowns and curfews. In fact, my colleagues and I longed for the peace and quiet of home and to some degree, envied those who could work from home, and therefore lessen the danger of contracting the virus.

I now realise that I’d largely suppressed a lot of feelings about 2020 and just got on with it. Honestly, I wasn’t aware of how much underlying anxiety and stress I buried under the surface or how much I carried with me all the time.

Until I came to a standstill on Boxing Day and could not be motivated to do anything. My tiredness has finally caught up with me. So I basically just slept, read and ate. And poured all my concentration into finishing a 1000 piece jigsaw puzzle.

I didn’t have a break between Christmas and New Year except the public holidays as we were short staffed. And as my extended family did not return to Australia for Christmas, I didn’t have a reason to take time off. Note to self – TAKE THE TIME OFF regardless next year (or really, it is this year now)

Shedding tears and letting go of 2020 – that is how I farewelled 2020.

But … there were GOOD things that happened in 2020 too and I learned many lessons.

 

jigsaw puzzle ice cream cones fallen on marble counter | goodbye 2020

The context for July to December 2020

My Mid Year 2020 Goals Review post was about the first six months where I discussed the disruption to my routines. Well, the second six months was more of the same. Every time I thought I succeeded at sticking to a routine, something else would happen and I’d be back at square one.

The last six months of 2020 was dominated by a ‘hard’ lockdown with curfews from 8pm to 5am initially, then 9pm to 5am for months, from mid July. We had the toughest lockdown conditions in the country to deal with a deadly second surge of cases. Then we had 60 days of zero active cases only to be back to a dozen or so cases before the end of the year. And we are now back to border closures as Sydney battles a new surge of cases.

Our collective mood seem to be at one with active cases. When the active cases were high, we were cautious and anxious and when the numbers were low, we were visibly more relaxed and happy.

Recap of decade goals

2020 was the first time I’d set decade goals – goals I want to achieve within 10 years.

My decade goals are to retire at 55, visit Antarctica and run a marathon. Amazingly, with one year done and dusted, I think I am on target to do the first two but need a LOT more work to tick off running a marathon.

Just articulating the goals somehow made them real and when opportunity struck, I leapt at it. For example, looking for a travel buddy to Antarctica. None of my friends has ever expressed the desire to visit Antarctica so I always thought I’d do it by myself. But lo and behold, when Frogdancer Jones, a fellow late starter to FI and blogger wrote about her new goal of visiting Antarctica, I put up my hand to go with her. This may very well be the first goal I achieve within the decade, yay! 

But how did I fare for my 2020 goals?

 

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1. Exercise and stretch daily

I am happy to report that stretching is now part of my morning routine. It has been a struggle for years. My personal trainer sent me a video on how to stretch ham strings against the wall while lying on your back in our first lockdown. I watched the video and was put off by how hard one of the exercise was.

Then one day, much much later in the year, I realised that I could do this first thing in the morning. I can continue my snoozing on the floor while stretching my ham strings against the wall. Why didn’t anyone tell me that earlier?

And now while I’m stretching, I manifest money flowing into my life and articulate why I need money. (Refer to my earlier post on How I Transformed my Limiting Beliefs about Money)

The exercise part is still a failure as I just can’t seem to settle into a routine to walk or run. There were many stops and starts. While a lot had to do with lockdown restrictions, I also know that exercise is the first thing I give up whenever life gets a bit complicated.

I will need to do better in 2021 somehow.

woman stretching ham strings against the wall
My stretch does not look like that AT ALL!

2. Journal daily

This was a partial fail, in that I did not journal daily but did keep up the practice at least thrice a week. Writing brings me clarity so I will persist.

3. Read more

I wanted to resume this habit in 2020 as I used to enjoy reading books but somehow stopped when I discovered FIRE and read blogs and listened to podcasts instead. I didn’t have time to read any books except finance related ones.

I smashed this goal and rediscovered my love of reading especially during the lockdowns. It is so good to lose oneself in someone else’s world (even if it is a fictional world) rather than having to face what is going on in my own life 🙂 It was pure escapism.

My goal was to read 20 books. I’d read 33 by the end of June and  ended up reading another 20 books by the end of December, only a handful of which are non fiction.

Once again my Libby app which allowed me to borrow ebooks from my library was a saviour!

 

4. Be more sustainable

At the beginning of 2020, I commissioned an Energy and Sustainability Assessment on my house. One of the key recommendations was to increase the insulation in my ceiling.

Unfortunately, this is still not completed as the second lockdown imposed strict restrictions on the building industry. They couldn’t work inside any residential building that was occupied, unless it were an emergency and a permit granted. Hopefully it will be done in 2021.

Installing extra insulation would have meant less reliance on heating and cooling and therefore using less electricity and gas.

I was home every day in 2020 compared to travelling 6 weeks overseas in 2019. With that in mind, I am very pleased that my gas bill in 2020 was only $20.66 more than what I spent in 2019.

And electricity was $163.75 less in 2020 compared to 2019. I am very happy with my solar panels!

I wrote about How to reduce your water bill – by reducing your water usage earlier in the year – the aim is to use 155L per person per day as per Victorian guidelines. In 2019 my average was 276L per day; in 2020, my average was 177L per day! Since I only started water saving strategies in February, I’m very happy with the result. Plus my water bill was less by $123.48

I’ve been using vinegar and sodium bicarbonate to clean the bathroom and kitchen, in an effort to reduce buying cleaning products in plastic bottles. So far so good.

 

5. Declutter

I did not manage to declutter at all! I must be the only person in the world who did not declutter in 2020 🙁

There was a new excuse … all the charity shops were closed due to Covid – who would take my donations? I tried half heartedly in July when I was on annual leave but gave up pretty quickly.

But I did manage to keep my kitchen counter clutter free 🙂 Gotta aim small these days!

 

young woman staring at orange piggy bank | goodbye 2020
Image by luxstorm from Pixabay

6. Financial goals

a. Invest $25000 in shares portfolio

I always knew this was a stretch goal for 2020.

My wages were lower due to transitioning to a role with lesser responsibilities – 2020 was the first full year on these lower wages.

I invested a total of $23200 – in AFI, WHF and VAS to be specific.

VAS is new to my portfolio. I already had AFI, MLT, BKI and WHF (all LICs ie Listed Investment Companies) in my portfolio and had in the past, decided not to hold VAS as well.

VAS, an ETF (Exchange Traded Fund) tracks the ASX300 while the LICs I own mainly focus on ASX200 companies. So, it’s kind of a duplication.

I like LICs in that they can smooth out their dividends so even in bear markets, they can offer a dividend. As in the case of AFI – which offered dividends throughout the global financial crisis. It is comforting for me, knowing that I will receive an income even during the bad times.

ETFs on the other hand must distribute all its earnings. So in lean years, when the underlying companies stop or reduce their dividends, it follows that there will be less distributions.

But LICs still depend on fund managers to make sound investment decisions, which now makes me a bit uncomfortable. Whereas VAS is a true index tracker and doesn’t rely on good judgement. Therefore I now aim to hold VAS in equal value to my LICs.

 

b. Maintain salary sacrificing into superannuation until end of June then review

I was hoping to stop salary sacrificing into superannuation this second half of 2020. I had calculated, based on the balance at the end of 2019 that it should double to my target in another 10 years, when I am able to withdraw the money.

However, at the end of June, my super was only just starting to improve after plummeting in March. So I decided to continue salary sacrificing. 

This meant that I did not have enough to invest in my share portfolio outside of super and hence did not make the $25000 goal.

But my super balance has recovered and increased by 9.4% compared to 2019. Should I stop salary sacrificing now? I’ll tell you in my next post!

c. Aim for a savings rate of 50%

At the end of June, my savings rate was 55% so I was on track if I kept to my spending pattern for the next six months.

Unfortunately, that was not to be. I always have larger expenses from July to December – local council rates, home and contents insurance, professional association fees and Christmas to name a few. This year, there were unexpected expenses too.

I paid a home insurance excess of $500 on 2 occasions. I made a claim in July to repair a hole on my porch ceiling from water leakage during heavy rainfalls. Insurance did not cover the wear and tear but covered the repairs to the ceiling.

The second occasion was more recent. I’d returned home to my kitchen and parts of the living room inundated with water pouring out of a burst pipe under the kitchen sink. Insurance did not cover the replacement of pipe and tap or plumber fees (which cost just under $1500) but will cover the cost of repairing my hardwood floor. Some boards have buckled from the moisture.

In October, my front door lock died. So that was another $400 for a new lock and locksmith fees.

I’d recently started a sinking fund for home maintenance. Needless to say, but that fund is more than depleted 🙁

I spent about $1500 on Pinterest, email marketing courses and Online Impact membership. This is an investment in my blogging side hustle – I have so much to learn! I decided as I wasn’t travelling this year, I had the money to invest in myself. To date, I haven’t considered blogging to be a side hustle but will do so from now on. More on that in 2021.

Growing my own vegetables gives me immense pleasure. I would love to be self sufficient one day. Fruits and vegetable prices are increasing all the time – if not from droughts then from lack of labour at the moment to pick them. There just wasn’t enough room in my 1.2mx1.2m and 0.6mx1.2m beds to plant what I needed. So I ‘invested’ in 3 1mx1m wicking garden boxes for the back garden in early December. I’m upping my game considerably!

With all these unexpected or unplanned-for expenses, my overall savings rate for 2020 was 47% (oh, so close!), with total expenses $7182 less than 2019. 2020 was my lowest spending year since I started tracking expenses in 2018. That has to be a win!

 

3 wooden wicking bed boxes
My new wicking bed vegie boxes

2020 Lessons

The biggest lesson for me in 2020 was that I needed to be resilient, both financially and mentally. I need to be able to bounce back from setbacks.

Although I am thankful that I did not lose my job, I also watched worriedly as my workplace adapted to less customers (and therefore less revenue). Plus we didn’t replace any staff who left.

I will never forget the TV images of long queues of people outside Centrelink offices, waiting to apply for welfare. It is not a scene I associate with being in the ‘lucky country’, Australia.

I am reminded again and again that I must set money aside to look after myself, for those rainy days. My grandmother and mother were correct.

I truly appreciated the value of an emergency fund for the first time and was grateful mine was fully funded. For the first time too, I considered work in other areas of my profession, just in case.

But it was also in 2020, that my blog had enough readership (for a few months at least) to qualify for ads revenue. And even though it is miniscule compared to what I spend on the blog, it gives me hope that maybe, just maybe I can derive a side income and therefore some insurance against a job loss.

Working with anxious and fearful staff and the public in 2020 showed me that how we respond to uncertainty and the unknown matters greatly. The ones who were positive and willing to adapt, performed much better than those who were negative and fearful. It showed me that having a positive mindset was a very powerful asset in life.

It was stressful having split shifts – where our day and evening shifts could not intermingle; one shift left promptly at 5pm by the back door while the evening shift enters via the front door. But we soon adapted and NOT one day shift person longed for extra hours when we ceased split shifts in November.

So that is a huge legacy of 2020 – I now finish work at 5pm! I can be home by 6pm even after a walk after work with my colleague. Unfortunately I need to work on my night routine – surely I can be more productive than falling asleep on the couch.

I learned how to bake sourdough bread and keep a sourdough starter alive; I learned how to bake bagels and pretzels, babka and challah from a bakery in London via Zoom. And once again, via Zoom, I learned how to make bang bang noodles from New York! Really, if I so desired, I could be very addicted to these classes … who knew I could learn anything from a small screen …

Final Thoughts

I shouldn’t feel bad that I didn’t accomplish many of my goals.

2020 was a year of constant change and disruption. Adapting to all these changes and disruption takes a lot of energy. And as one of my blogging friends said to me “You should give yourself some grace for 2020 – it took an emotional toll on you, dealing with all that you did at work”

I want to thank all of you who have read, commented, followed me on social media, interacted with me in any way this year especially Late Starter to FI series contributors. Thank you for your support and encouragement and your willingness to share your stories. I appreciate every single one of you ❤️

So it’s time … 2020, thank you for your lessons.

I am ready to let you go now.

Goodbye, 2020!

How was your 2020? Did you accomplish your goals? What did you learn?

Christmas 2020 – a Season to Celebrate

Christmas wreath with Australian foliage | Christmas 2020 - a season to celebrate

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The air is rich with the smell of ginger and spices as I sit here furiously typing – Christmas is only four sleeps away. I have finally finished baking the gingerbread buttons. Fruit cakes are patiently soaking up more brandy. The fruit mince tarts are ready to be distributed.

Lest I paint you a picture of domestic bliss …. I must set the record straight 🙂

To be honest, I am always weary by the time December rolls around. Every year. My energy levels are at an all time low. And it seems like such a hard ask to sprint to the finish line now and end the year well.

But first, there is the ‘hurdle’ of Christmas to leap across …

I wish I can say that I am some well oiled machine and that I have Christmas preparations down to a tee. The truth is, I am a PROCRASTINATOR. I know I have to start planning early but I always leave it to the last minute. Every single year. And then scramble madly looking up recipes to shop for ingredients, precision planning as to when to bake what (scheduling before and after work times and weekends), agonising over the Christmas lunch menu … and so on.

This year is no different. Except that we are living in the midst of a pandemic and it’s just been a year of ‘unprecendented-ness’, ‘pivoting’, Zoom meetings / webinars, hand sanitising, mask wearing, moving from lockdown to hope to more lockdowns, curfew and uncertainty then hope again etc. It’s been such a roller coaster. And this is coming after the worst bush fires in Australia.

Quite frankly, I cannot wait to see the end of 2020.

After such a tumultuous year, I am so tempted to just bunker down and ignore Christmas altogether. Maybe I can sleep through it all and wake up to 2021.

But the truth is I love Christmas

I love the true meaning of Christmas, where we celebrate the joy of a Saviour’s birth and the hope that it generates. I grew up in the Catholic tradition and remember singing all the Christmas carols and hymns in a choir. It brings back a lot of happy memories of an innocent and simpler time in my youth.

Of all the years where hope and joy is needed, it is 2020.

Therefore I am choosing this year to celebrate Christmas, not just to get through it. I want to celebrate life and a milion things that I am grateful for.

I am grateful that I still have a job even though it has been one of the most stressful times in my working life. That is saying a lot as I’ve experienced my workplace being razed by a fire twenty years ago and more recently, experienced burnout.

I am grateful for family. And friends. And co workers who have worked hard this year, shoulder to shoulder, in the uncertain times of dealing with a deadly invisible enemy.

Because of the travel restrictions, my extended family cannot join us for Christmas from the UK but I am grateful that we are all healthy. And that we can still connect via Zoom. I am grateful for modern technology.

My little niece has been colouring in / making decorations for my Christmas tree for the last two years. It was awesome to compare notes on our progress this year with decorating our respective trees via Zoom. She was chuffed to see her decorations hanging on my tree. And I was thrilled for her to have her own tree for the first time ever.

Christmas Day will be less exciting this year without my little niece. without that childish joyful anticipation of good things. But I will still put on a Christmas lunch as is the tradition and cook my heart out.

 

I am not aiming to be perfect

I blame the commercials – you know, the ones about happy families with a beautifully decorated Christmas tree, unwrapping a mountain of the most gorgeously wrapped presents; smiling & laughing families around a table groaning with the most scrumptious looking food – a glistening turkey, shiny glazed ham, desserts to die for …

It places such unrealistic expectations on us to be perfect – the perfect cook, host, giver of gifts, interior designer. While I love the cooking and baking part, I don’t like the buying or wrapping of presents or decorating my house. And wanting to be perfect in all areas just set me up to fail.

It’s taken me many years to realise this – I don’t have to conform to others’ expectations of how Christmas is to be celebrated. I can be kind to myself at Christmas. But I also appreciate a balance between what makes me happy and what makes those closest to me happy.

The 5 Love Languages book cover

What is your love language?

I had an epiphany this year.

I read The 5 Love Languages (affiliate link) by Gary Chapman earlier in the year. According to Chapman, there are five ways in which we express and receive love – Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time and Physical Touch. And each of us has a strong preference for one of these ways.

My epiphany is that my love language differs from that of my closest friends. I value acts of service more than any of the others ie I prefer to do something for someone I love rather than buying them a gift. In return, I also appreciate someone helping me out with an act of service rather than buying me a gift.

But my friends value gift giving much more. One of them spends ages debating what to get for whom, researching the best gift, do they already have this or maybe they prefer that.

Every year there is a conflict within me – I feel I have to reciprocate with the gift giving as I know I will receive gifts from them. But I procrastinate about the gift buying from my end and then it’s too late and I have to brave the crowds at the shopping centre just to get something.

Last year, I decided to give the gift of time ie I gave them vouchers for us to spend time together – one, a cooking course of her choice that we can do together and another, a local getaway we can do together. Well, what bad timing it was as ‘rona struck! Face to face cooking lessons were cancelled and we were in lockdowns which meant going away for a weekend was not an option. So I still owe them last year’s presents.

I am not brave enough to ask that we not exchange gifts. I tried saying that last year, only to be shushed and shut down. Since my epiphany, I have now accepted that I can’t expect them to express love in a different way or expect them to express love the same way as I do.

So I will respect that and give them a physical gift. And not be conflicted about it.

Plus at some stage of 2021, execute last year’s gifts.

My other favourite tradition at Christmas

Another tradition that I will not forgo is donating to various charities. As I am still earning an income, I can afford to donate money. I look forward to retiring one day, when I can donate my time, which is very difficult to do right now.

Foodbank and Kiva are my favourites but I will look for others at Christmas. Setting up a “Giving” sinking fund is how I manage my charitable giving. An automatic payment is deposited monthly (from my everyday account) and as it builds up, I donate it. Easy! This is one account that I don’t mind depleting.

Final Thoughts

Even though Christmas 2020 will look different to others in the recent past, I choose to celebrate it with my family and friends, upholding our usual traditions, instead of just getting through it. And I will respect my friends’ love languages as they differ from mine 🙂

I am looking forward to having a few days off to reflect on the year that was and look forward to 2021.

I wish all of you much joy and happiness this holiday season and that you will be able to spend it with your loved ones, be they far or near. Please know that I am grateful for your choosing to spend some of your precious time online with me in 2020.

Merry Christmas!

How are you celebrating this Christmas and holiday season?

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